You may think that this is a strange title for a food blogger’s post. How could you hate cooking when that is what you obviously love to do? Come on now, with every job that we love there are things that we just hate about it too. Like parenting is great…when the kids are good, disciplining them sucks! Teaching is fun, grading hundreds of papers, not so much. Riding my motorcycle is a blast, washing it, well that’s why I married McGyver. Like all things in life that require the paperwork or some other dirty job, so goes my cooking…
Just for fun, here are the 9 things that I hate most about cooking:
1. The mess! Oh God, the mess. Dirty dishes, counters, stove, oven, microwave and don’t even look in my fridge. Stuff spilled on the floor. Burnt on, caked on, flour turned to glue on…help, I need a maid. I do clean up a bit as I go on but it’s probably because I keep hearing Gordon Ramsey’s voice in my head saying “this is an F-ing disaster”.
2. Putting the groceries away. Sit me down to make a menu and a grocery list, yes, please. Shop for food, I’m all over it. Hauling it home, sorting it and finding a place for it…no thank you. I’ve been practicing trying to twitch my nose like Samantha from Bewitched (after all I am a witch) so that they’ll magically all just get from my car and *poof* be put away…so far no success.
3. My kitchen is too small. Okay I said I wanted to downsize, I meant it really…then, three years ago. Now that the reality is here, I have to confess that it’s not as nice as it sounds. I have too much stuff to fit in my kitchen, hence trips out to the garage in below zero temps, china stored in the basement and other odd ball plates, props etc. stored in a hall closet. And more stuff than I care to have sitting out on the counters. Whenever poor McGyver or the Baby boy puts dishes away, it’s always “where does this go”? FYI, it’s amazing how hard it can be to find stuff in a small kitchen, it’s amazing where stuff gets ferreted away.
4. I hate to measure. I’m naturally an ‘eyeball’ person, and pretty good at it too. But that just doesn’t work well when you’re posting recipes or *ugh* baking. (I almost added baking to my list, but lately I ‘m enjoying it more). Can you imagine a recipe that says add a half palm full of chili powder? probably no workie. And what comes with measuring? More dirty dishes: wet ingredient measuring cups, dry ingredient measuring cups, measuring spoons, little spatulas to get the stuff out of the cups, shot glasses..(well, maybe only in my kitchen). Frankly I’d rather free pour into the pot or dump stuff in my hand then wipe ‘em off on my pants and call it good.
5. Things don’t turn out the way you planned. I seem to have an overinflated sense of my abilities…at times. I picture perfect looking dishes, layered cakes, the creamiest whatever, the fluffiest, prettiest, most eye appealing food ever. In my head I’m always hoping for the best crust, the juiciest meat, the most orgasmic food experience ever. Oh and while I’m at it…the perfect light for photographing it. Hello, reality check, not happening ever! (Even if it did, I’d find something not perfect about it).
6. I have expensive taste. I can’t afford myself. I drool over the finest ingredients, I want to travel to the edges of the earth and bring home the best of the best. Until this blog starts paying off or I win the lottery I never play, I won’t be using the best of the best anytime soon…heavy sigh!
7. I’m impatient. Which absolutely explains, numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5 and why baking has been a tough love for me. What, wait for it to rise? Let it cool? I want it now, I tell you, NOW!
8. I don’t enjoy eating out as much. Seriously, you want me to pay how much for that when I make it better at home? Maybe I would feel different if I lived someplace that offered some fine dining, but considering my taste for the finer things I probably couldn’t afford it.
9. I am what I cook. I over compensate for not having the finer foods by having more of the really good comfort foods. I’m talking bacon, cheese, butter, BBQ, cocktails, etc. All this has equaled an expanding waistline (and other areas). I know, I know, I’m in total control of that part..maybe what I really hate is that I don’t have some miracle metabolism..all cooks should be gifted with one. Who knows maybe Santa will bring me one this year or at least bring me some willpower. Man, I need it!
Although there are several things that I just hate about cooking, next to my family it is still the love of my life. Recently I was talking with my baby boy, and he said that he thought that photography was my hobby and I said no, cooking is. He replied with this:
Photography is your hobby. Cooking is your passion.
Well said, my Baby boy, well said.